How's your Hang?

About 4 years ago I was a student studying Land Economy at Newcastle University. It’s traditional that a ball is held every year fot the Land Economy students, tutors and lecturers. I was in my first year at uni so when the ball came round I decided that I was going to make it a particularly big one. I succeeded.

I can’t remember much from the night but I do know that there was a band playing and various kinds of dancing took place. There was also plenty of wine on our table. I’d paid £30 for a ticket so I was making the most of this. I remember having a fairly large glass of whisky at about 10.00pm and to be honest I don’t really know what went on after that.

I woke up the next day and my bed was soaking. Unfortunately it appeared I had wet myself in my sleep. This had happened to me once or twice before so I was not all that surprised considering the state that I had been in. I got up and made my way into the sitting room from my bedroom and there was no sign of my flatmate. It seemed that he had gone out to lectures. I was seriously hungover so I stayed in and watched tv all day.

My flatmate returned in the evening. Our conversation went like this:

Flatmate:“Who was that girl you had back last night?”

Me: “I did not have a girl back here last night, what are you talking about?”

Flatmate: “Yes you did you were talking to her on the staircase for quite a while.”

It all came back to me when he said that. A memory that was best left forgotten. I recalled speaking to a girl on the staircase next to my bedroom. The gist of the conversation involved her saying that she did not usually have one night stands and then me trying to act shocked to try and trick her into thinking that she was a bit of a prude. I can remember one thing after that – an arm on my shoulder shaking me and shouts of “stop!stop!” as I was woken while urinating. Take it from me it is extremely difficult to stop urinating at the same time as waking from a deep slumber.

Although I could remember what was said that night and what happened I had (and still have) no idea what the girl that I (accidentally) urinated on looks like. She could well have been a first year Land Economy student like me. In fact it’s quite probable that she was. The disconcerting thing is that throughout my 3 years at uni I will have walked right past her a number of times. She will have known who I was and what I did but I had no idea who she was. I still sometimes wonder if it was someone that I had spoken to in a perfectly normal manner outside a lecture room, in a tutorial or even in the library.